WHY DID SHE GIVE ME HER NUMBER AND THEN NOT RESPOND TO MY TEXT?!

This post is addressing more of a male issue. I've had a number of guy friends vent about the following situation: the guy gets the girl's number while out in a bar; he texts the girl, and the girl doesn't write back. This inevitably begs the question, "Why did she give me her number if she doesn't want to see me again?"

It goes like this. If I'm in a bar, I've spent a few minutes talking to a guy and he asks for my number, I basically have about FIVE SECONDS to decide then and there if I want to see him again. It would be really weird if a guy asked me, "Can I have your number?" And I just looked at him for oh I don't know ten, twenty, thirty seconds while I thought about it, and then delivered my decision. "You know what? Yes. Yes you can have my number, here it is!"

If I'm not sure if I want to see the guy again, it's MUCH EASIER to give him my number and decide later that I'm not interested. Doing this gives me options. If I'm not sure and I DON'T give him my number, if I change my mind later, it's too late. This is why people give their numbers out and later don't respond to texts. We're humans. We can meet someone, have a pleasant conversation with them, and later decide we don't want to see them again. It's not that complicated. If someone does this to you, get over it. It happens a lot. 

So yes, sometimes I give out my number and decide later that I don't want to see him again. Many of my friends are in the camp of "you need to write back and say you're not interested," but I tend to think if I meet someone out, and they haven't gone out of their way for me in terms of time or money, they can figure out what a lack of response means here. If I have been on an actual concrete date with someone, that's a different situation. The two options I have are a) not responding to the text or b) figuring out a nice way to say "I know I don't really know you that well yet, but I have lost interest and don't want to get to know you after all. I shouldn't have given you my number. Sorry for changing my mind."